The Pursuit of Happiness

900

We agree that hypocrisy results when someone claims feelings and beliefs that don’t match with how they behave. And allow me to guess that, no matter what your political frame of reference, you came up with several examples of hypocrisy just from reading the morning news. Would that be a good guess?

The tricky bit is that everybody is guilty of hypocrisy about something from time to time; the argument is really only about degree and frequency. That was the point Jesus made (John 8:7) when he invited sinless folk to cast the first stone, a story that concludes with the crowd slinking away, stones uncast, with their heads down.

If Jesus made the same offer today the governor would have to call out the National Guard to restore order and apply to FEMA afterward for money to haul away stockpiles of leftover rocks. Maybe it’s just a “modern thing” or a “country thing,” but I’ve never run into so many sinless people in my life – who also happen to be geniuses who know everything there is to know. And they’re especially capable stone throwers.

How have so many achieved such advanced levels of sinlessness and genius? It helps to emulate Maoist functionaries and foster a cultural revolution where exercise of the First Amendment becomes fake news created by counterrevolutionary zealots who insist on reporting facts and consequences. Lying helps, and labeling objections to lying as propaganda worked well in the former Soviet Union, and it works very well for our new best friend, Vladimir Putin. And getting churches and evangelicals to swap their souls, like Esau swapped his birthright for a bowl of stew, is always effective, and as easy as normalizing indecency.

Make sure, too, that symbols become more important than reality. Why pay taxes, or serve in the military, or actually study the U.S. Constitution, when you can buy a flag decal or wear a red hat instead? And always replace introspection, thoughtfulness, fallibility, and charity with resentment and assignments of blame.

If these things are done consistently the problem of hypocrisy is solved and we can devote ourselves fulltime to the throwing of stones.