There’s an old blue horror show up on Elk Street I’m thinking about buying and rehabbing. It’s a mess: it needs a new roof and foundation, and all the stuff in between is hollowed-out or hungover from a 1970’s platform shoes type remodel. If I put $100,000 into it I’ll have a proper $80,000 house.
But I like Elk Street, and the house is across the street from the Unitarian Universalist Church, a building as appealing and dignified as a pretty widow who’s been left with some money.
I don’t know if these are good enough reasons to buy the house, but it comes with a front porch large enough for a couple of Adirondack chairs. I imagine myself sitting there on Sunday mornings watching the UUs’ wander in for interesting sermons on topics such as “Our Friend the Laser” or “Madrigals in Post-Modern Bumfook.” After the sermon, they’ll gather in the basement to share organic kale dip and gluten-free crackers.
The thought of these gathering folks fills me with calm. They are a law-abiding people, stay married, produce 1.5 well-behaved children, pay taxes, and may even use their turn signals competently. If I bought the house I could sit on my Elk Street porch, drink coffee, and be free from civic worry and the din of amplified Electra Glide in Blue gee-tars as they celebrate and commemorate To Whomever It May Concern.
Christians frequently confuse the terms “religion” and “revelation.” If they value and celebrate “that old time religion” they focus on what is transcendent and mystical, and their energies are directed toward touching the Divine hand. Revelation, conversely, is articulated by human beings who are in the business of weighing and measuring God’s words for the purpose of deciding Who’s on first base – and who isn’t. This is necessary work, but by itself, is incomplete and makes for grotesque and spirit breaking consequences.
If I have to choose between the two, I’ll go with religion and the Unitarian Universalists. It’s a safe bet that they do no harm and, if they happen to touch the hand of God, they’ll do it in a neighborly fashion.
This suits you‼ Last time I was there,you were the speaker‼ I enjoyed it very much
And simply call it another day in Paradise.
Hey, Dan, this is one of the best you’ve done a long time! I loved it!
Amen, brother. Do your amplified gee-tars refer–by any chance–to the UMs in your town? I’ll loan you a couple thousand to put down on the horror house on Elk Street, as long as I can get to sit occasionally on your porch and take in the ambience.