The Dirt on Nicky

63

Cheaper than therapy

  • Gardens are cheaper than therapy, and you get tomatoes.
  • If I had a bell pepper, I’d ring it in the mo-or-ning . . .
  • “Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.” Mark Twain
  • According to Rodale Press, a piece of food eaten in America has on average traveled 1,300 miles. One-third of a family’s food bill pays for moving food.
  • “Show me your garden, and I’ll tell who you are.” Alfred Austin
  • “We may think we are nurturing our garden, but, of course, it our garden that really is nurturing us.” Jenny Uglow
  • My hands are not dirty yet, but I’m happy anyway.
  • Gardening adds years to your life and life to your years.
  • Vodka is made from potatoes. Potatoes are vegetables. Vegetables are good for you. Have I made my point?
  • “An onion can make a person cry, but there’s never been a vegetable that can make a person laugh.” Will Rogers
  • “Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough.” Shamala Tan
  • “Are you here to garden or are you just standing there with a hose in your hands?” Uncle Wahoo
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
  • The best fertilizer is the gardener’s shadow.
  • “In every garden, the land is made better and so is the gardener.” Robert Rodale.
  • Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.
  • “Despite the gardener’s best intentions, nature will improvise.” Michael P. Garafalo
  • “In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” Margaret Atwood
  • If I had a rutabaga, I’d root it in the mo-or-ning . . .
  • “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” Audrey Hepburn
  • “The trouble is you cannot grow just one zucchini. Minutes after you plant a single seed, hundreds of zucchini will barge out of the ground and sprawl around the garden, menacing other vegetables. At night, you will be able to hear the ground quake as more and more zucchini erupt.” Dave Barry
  • When we change the way we grow our food, we change our food, we change society, we change our values.” Wendell Berry
  • Thich Nhat Hanh stated, “When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce.”
  • “Take care of the soil. The soil will take care of the plants.” Uncle Wahoo
  • “I like gardening. It’s a place I find myself when I need to lose myself.” Alice Sebold
  • “Garden as though you will live forever.” Thomas More
  • “Weather means more when you have a garden. There’s nothing like listening to a shower and thinking how it is soaking in around your green beans.” Marcelene Cox
  • “All gardening is landscape painting.” William Kent
  • If I had spinach, I’d spin it in the mo-or-ning . . .
  • “I’ve always felt a garden is like having a good and loyal friend.” C.Z. Guest
  • “Let us not forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. When tillage begins, other arts will follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of civilization.” Daniel Webster
  • “Gardens are not made by singing ‘Oh, how beautiful,’ and sitting in the shade.” Rudyard Kipling
  • Anyone who wants to rule the world should try to rule a garden first.
  • All gardeners know better than other gardeners.
  • Essential advice for the gardener: grow peas of mind, lettuce be thankful, squash selfishness, turnip to help thy neighbor, and always make thyme for loved ones.

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