I’m glad you asked
It is now time for Uncle Wahoo to answer a few questions.
- I keep hearing strange theories about rogue elements in the garden that made their way to a southern location not in the best interest of the garden, and now I hear how they could sneak out through tunnels to points beyond, but some voices nevertheless say don’t worry, everything is okay, normal course of events considering the elements involved and I should mind my own business, so am I okay adding soil amendments to my tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers at this point of the season?
Uncle Wahoo: I’m glad you asked. The integrity of your garden soil is paramount. Follow your instincts for what is best for the entire garden now and beyond. Follow the truth. Rogue elements get attention sometimes, and it is up to all gardeners to respond and restore truth to our gardens. So go to the garden right now, pick some cilantro and garlic chives and fix yourself a burrito.
- My jalapeño pepper plants are suddenly missing parts such as leaves and peppers. I suspect foul play. Should I call the sheriff?
Uncle Wahoo: I’m glad you asked. If you live inside city limits, call your police department and ask for the hornworm extraction squad. These professionals wear heavy boots and step on things, but they can remove the offending Manducas with aplomb. Or, you can put on gloves and pull the little suckers off all by yourself. I throw them into the woods because I live in the woods. If you live in a neighborhood, I’m short on advice for what’s next. Know anybody with guinea hens? In the meantime, cook some black beans and fix yourself a burrito.
- My Nandonia barbalisa seems to have wilburonus flaglerama. If I treat it with halpernica, I’m afraid my magnesium/boron balance might skew. I’m in a tizzy. If not halpernica, then what about doopler dust?
Uncle Wahoo: Huh? We did not go to the same high school. Regardless, I recommend watering the soil and not the leaves, or, in your case, hydrate terra firma and eschew the folia, but above all, find time for a gluten-free burrito.
- I pick basil leaves every day, but the next day I have just as much to pick again. Is this the definition of infinity?
Uncle Wahoo: I’m glad you asked. Picture a partly cloudy Saturday morning, sitting on a stool in the shade of a hickory tree picking basil leaves one at a time for an hour. If that is infinity, I’m in, no matter how many times I’m called upon. I even add basil leaves to my burrito.
- I grew Chinese wool flowers because I heard they were edible. I took a bite and found it very astringent. What am I doing wrong?
Uncle Wahoo: Stop eating those flowers right now or you’ll hurt yourself. The flowers are for being colorful and they brighten up a corner of a bed, but it is the young leaves you can eat like a leafy thing. Add them to beans and rice, casseroles or, heck, put ‘em in your burrito.
- I want every color in the rainbow in my garden, but I am still looking for the right blue. Any suggestions?
Uncle Wahoo: I’m glad you asked. Borage flowers can be blue but are often tinted toward purple or pink. There are light blue morning glories, but the truest blue are blue butterfly pea flowers. They make a beautiful blue tea which a drop of lemon quickly turns pink. You can add the flowers to rice dishes also, and somebody should create the first blue burrito.
- Am I the only one whose garden quickly became a jungle?
Uncle Wahoo: No, and who doesn’t love a jungle… I’m glad you asked.