Well. No garage this week, the overhead door handle was too cold to maneuver. We settled in the kitchen, put our feet up and had a sort-of-garage conversation, which means we talked about serious things instead of spontaneous things.
We needed something unexpected to roll off our tongues – a shock instead of a given. Something like how to have a birthday party during a pandemic.
What if instead of a party we all celebrated a birthday woke? “Woke,” we assumed, means being aware of and paying deliberate attention to.
For the past year we have had it suggested (pounded) into us to keep our distance from everybody. Even the ones we love and are accustomed to hugging or kissing have been off limits to hug and kiss. Except for the dog.
Usually on our birthday people send a card, a text, or a big bouquet of red roses to let us know they are thinking of us. Okay, that’s a stretch, the roses, but you know what we mean – birthdays are special. They involve seeing the ones we prefer and hearing them sing that song with the really high note.
Friends know the truth about us – that we’re neither perfect nor awesome. They’re just glad we’re around when they want us to be. They sense that growing older is mandatory but growing up is optional, and they don’t care about our age, dishwashing habits or nicknames.
They understand that we were excited to turn eight, but not ten times more excited to turn 80. They appreciate that we don’t want to cost one person one dime to celebrate our birthday. But they shop for us anyway, and suddenly we own an indoor plant. We thank them and hope, hope, hope it lives at least long enough that someone will say, “Wow! Did you water that or what?”
Oh, birthdays are great for their commemoration and camaraderie. It’s just that this Covid spread has made us realize that instead of thinking what we’re missing, why not create a new kind of party? A party of one.
How cool would it be to spend one day a year entirely alone? Not talk to anyone, not have wine or facetime with anyone. Not check in. Spend one day in silence. Would we do it? Would we be in tune with ourselves enough that we look forward to it more than a candlelighted cake that everyone eats anyway even after we blew on it?
Sure! The reason to do this on our birthday is because birthdays are staggered. Also, our own birthday is easy to remember.
If we spent a whole day not doing anything for or with anyone else, but just by ourselves, we would toss out social tradition – discipline, orderliness, unity and dependence.
When we’re alone, there is no majority rule. There is no shyness. We don’t get confused, refused or corrected. We simply stay by ourselves and think about ourselves.
We would grow faster than an indoor plant.
The problem last Sunday is we were in the house and not the garage. We had to improvise conversation instead of falling back on insisting that reloading brass cartridge casings proves that you’re financially agile.
You know, perpetual youth doesn’t mean arrested development. It just means that when you can’t get into the garage you will still have fun.