Ignoring this doesn’t help anyone

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Last week I posted a link to an essay in The Atlantic titled “Three Children, Two Abortions,” which immediately inspired two responses, one that stated “Abortion is murder. Period.” The essayist, Deborah Copaken, wrote about her history of pregnancies, leading to an abortion at 17, two planned babies, a second abortion at age 34, and an unplanned baby at 39. The decisions to terminate two pregnancies and bear three children were always rational. Her family and doctors were there for counsel and support; her parents drove her to a clinic for the first abortion, and her husband wanted the third child.

The abortion debate always has two distinct angles. The absolutist view that abortion is murder places a higher value on the fetus than the mother and, Copaken says, generally ignores who that fetus becomes once born and living its life. The moral or religious view becomes political.

The opposition is a libertarian view, that the decision to allow a pregnancy to come full term belongs to the woman who is pregnant, made with advice and support of her family and doctor. The philosophical-political view becomes moral.

Copaken’s essay reminded me of a column I wrote long ago for my university newspaper, which, unbelievably, I found in a box of old papers. My column included a letter given me by a female student, which follows:

“I was among the ranks of teenage girls who risked their lives in back-alley abortions. I was fifteen. An “A” and “B” high school student in love for the first time. My method of birth control (condoms) had failed me. Abortion was illegal in the United States.

“With the help of friends and a courageous clergyman, I found myself on a 500-mile journey to a ‘doctor’ with no name who I ultimately saw for about thirty minutes. And then our relationship was severed entirely, leaving me responsible for whatever complications might arise.

“The 500 miles were longer on the way home. My energy level for the next few weeks was at an all-time low, and the sight of my own blood scared me. Yet I could tell no one except the friends who had been with me. My daily routines had to carried out as if nothing had happened.

“No matter what the public feels about the right or wrong of women voluntarily terminating pregnancies, abortions will continue to take place. Legal or illegal. And those who seek abortions cannot be dismissed as ignorant and irresponsible. It would be equally ludicrous to expect all women ill-prepared to bear children to abstain from sexual relations. Abortion has been, is, and will continue to be a reality. As a survivor of the ‘back alley,’ I can’t fathom anyone sending women into that dark and dangerous place. But to take away a woman’s right to choose a safe legal abortion would be doing just that.”

The woman who wrote that letter that I quoted (April 6, 1989) went on to have children who have grown into productive citizens. She doubted that outcome if she had given birth at age fifteen.

From January 1990 until May 2016, I worked as a schoolteacher. Every single year I had at least one pregnant girl or young mother in my classes, including one who had her second child in eighth grade, and two girls in a senior English class with babies sired by the same boy! I do not know how many of my female students may have had the option of abortion – that wasn’t talked about.

Instead, these “babies having babies” entered adulthood before they were ready. In most cases, the young mother’s own mother or grandmother was primarily in charge of raising the baby, so the girl could finish school, or drop out and get a job at Wal-Mart or a fast food joint.

No one recommends abortion. But our society does not teach sex education, we do not provide free or affordable health care and counseling for young mothers, parental leave, or similar benefits found in most modern countries. What is a girl to do?