My wife has mentioned sensual massage as one way to spice up our sex life. I don’t know the first thing about massage. I’ve never even had one. Can you offer some pointers to get me headed in the right direction?
First, get a massage! If you’re hesitant about being naked while under the soothing touches of a total stranger, you’re definitely not alone. The capacity to be vulnerable, relatively non-participatory and receive pleasure is a challenge for many, whether in a professional or personal setting.
While it is an intimate experience, a professional massage is intended to relieve pain and provide healing. A sensual massage may have the same benefits but the intent is to build emotional, physical and erotic intimacy between partners. Turning up the heat between the sheets is guaranteed.
Experiencing a professional massage yourself will give you the basic information and structure you’ll need to begin your foray into sensual massage with your wife. You’ll learn that ambiance is everything. Focusing the senses of sight, sound and smell determines the experience.
To pique sensuality through smell, essential oils or fragrant candles will do the trick. The options are endless but for simplicity’s sake, if you’re going for soothing, try lavender. If you’d rather entice, consider jasmine, well known for its aphrodisiac qualities.
For sound, soothing, seductive music without lyrics works best. Words keep us connected to our cognition, distracting us from physical and erotic sensations.
Low lighting or candlelight serves to dim visual perception. During a sensual massage, blindfolding provides even greater benefits. Eliminating sight ignites anticipation and forces more focus on sensations of touch.
Restricting movement along with sight can throttle an extra thrill. Developed a decade ago by a professional massage therapist and dominatrix, the practice of Bondassage is a sensation play of yet another sort.
Always consensual and pleasure-focused, the element of bondage creates a perceived loss of control and a definitive invitation to surrender, further amplifying arousal. Fascinating as it is, Bondasssage far exceeds the feng shui of this family-friendly format. A simple web search will inform you.
The most important rule of all: Avoid going for the goodies right off the bat. Then avoid doing so again. If the begging has not begun, the time for direct stimulation has yet to come.