When I called Trella the C Word

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Big, brash, combative, in your face, compassionate, courageous, smart, opinionated, empathetic, dyke, relentless, activist, shit disturber, writer, generous, socialist, uncompromising and passionate are words and adjectives to describe Trella Laughlin, who at 85, recently died of complications from COVID.

Trella wore her politics on her sleeve, a political activist who was on the street demonstrating against the Vietnam and Iraq wars, marching for civil, women’s and LGBTQ rights, and a vocal proponent during the height of the AIDS crisis.

This story, which is a little blurry at best, took place several years ago, (BB – Before Brews) when we ran an antique mall in that space.

Trella had a large parade banner made for some political cause that I honestly can’t remember and asked, no, demanded, that it be stored at the antique mall after the parade. I reluctantly gave in, rolled it up, shoved it in a corner of the storeroom and forgot about it.

After 6 years, Bill and I decided we were done with the antique trade. We called an auction house in Springdale, which promptly came, loaded and took everything away, auctioned it off, and gave us a check. It all happened very fast.

It had been at least two years since Trella dropped off her banner. Shortly after we closed the mall, she called to ask if she could pick it up.

I explained what happened, that her abandoned banner was accidently taken along with all of our stuff and auctioned off – that’s when Trella went off on me – so much so that I hung up on her. Several minutes later I reluctantly picked up the phone where she started in on me again, and that’s when the words, “Trella, why are you being such a [c-word]” flew out of my mouth.

There was a moment of silence, then click, she’d hung up on me, only to call me back 5 minutes later. “I can’t believe you called me a [c-word]. And you call yourself a feminist, working for women’s rights? You are nothing but a hypocritical misogynist.” She went on for a long time and I’m not sure if I even uttered a word, never mind an apology, before she hung up again.

Soon after, I was fielding calls and text messages from mutual friends and acquaintances, asking if indeed, I had called Trella a [c-word]. Trella was apparently telling anyone who would listen about our phone conversation and I half expected to see a billboard in town with “JOHN RANKINE CALLED TRELLA LAUGHLIN A [C-WORD]” in big, bold letters.

To say the least, our relationship was strained. When awkwardly bumping into her at mutual friends’ events or gatherings, she never failed to tell me, and anyone within hearing range, “You called me a [c-word].”

A few years went by and in 2021 we were both part of the Eureka Springs contingent in Fayetteville’s Pride parade where we gave each other a hug. No words, but I can still remember that twinkle in her eyes.
Trella came into Brews during the Artrageous Parade last May. I bought her a coffee and found a seat on the patio where we chatted for a bit before taking off to take pictures of the parade. We never spoke of the C word. We didn’t have to.

She will be missed.