I’ve been meeting new babies this week. Three things happen when I meet them. First, I recognize that every new baby looks just like Mitch McConnell. Second, I smile and (always) say, “Isn’t that the cutest little dickens!” Third, I feel a sense of wonder that people are still optimistic enough about the future to bring new humans being into the world.
Whether such optimism is well founded is an open question, but it’s evidence that each of us views our existence –and the world around us – through highly personal filters. That’s why “my” kid is so much more important than “your” kid, even if we genuinely value the idea that “all” kids matter.
And that’s why Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman, two TV stars (neither of whom I’d ever heard of) bought and bribed their children’s way into prestigious colleges. Both Loughlin and Huffman are garden-variety Hollywood Liberals with the usual liberal pretensions, but when push comes to shove, their kids always go to the head of the line. Just like the kids of affluent conservatives who pound tables and preach work, thrift, and purity – not for their kids, of course, but for your kids.
This isn’t news. It’s human nature. Eventually, though, every child’s boat is pushed from the shore. Some kids sail alone in leaky boats without functional rudders; the port of destination they arrive in depends on luck and faith, and hard but thoughtful work. Good luck is meeting mentors along the way who teach them how to fix rudders and read the wind. Bad luck is wasting time envying the kids who sail boats equipped with GPS and daddy-supplied brownnosers who do the heavy lifting.
The worst possible luck is to be one of those daddy-supplied kids and then imagine you’ve become an equal to Ernest Shackleton all by yourself. It’s like hiring Mariano Rivera to pitch for you and thinking you deserve a spot in the Baseball Hall of Fame.
If the parents of these new and future sailors equip them with seaworthy boats and working rudders – no less…and no more – optimism is deserved. And they can take heart: the Mitch McConnell impersonation is temporary.