One two three twelve and beyond
I haven’t needed to use Riemann’s zeta factorial function in a couple weeks. It is useful, of course, when enumerating infinite series such as populations of squash bugs in June, but also the burst of rattlesnake beans in early August. A gardener who waters bean vines regularly during hot, dry summer days will eat beans often and need a box of freezer bags.
Years ago, my favorite pole beans were cobra beans, but I changed reptiles. I saved beans for seeds from last year’s rattlesnake beans, and this year’s lengthy, healthy vines keep the bean department in my refrigerator full. The pods have magenta splotches, and they are plenteous.
Maybe Bernhard Riemann grew pole beans when he wasn’t focused on his (and maybe your) favorite differential equations, and maybe he impulsively counted things (arithmomania), so developing math solutions for infinite series allowed him to keep track of his beans. He should have been a bookkeeper. However, no one in his neighborhood would have had a freezer in which to store extra beans, but I do.
Snap beans fresh off the vine can be frozen. The pods are best picked before the beans begin to swell. Rinse the pods while swaying rhythmically, snip off the ends while breathing deeply, and smile like a bobcat while cutting them into cute little pieces. Steam blanch them for three or four minutes before carefully packing them in a freezer bag. Lay the bag flat, seal it, then hello freezer.
Ripe tomatoes in my garden are still countable, but infinity beckons. When the crop achieves overload, there are choices for preserving the excess: dehydration or freezing. An easy dehydrating method would be to cover a cookie sheet or large platter with wax paper, place slices of fresh tomatoes all around and carefully position it all on the dashboard of a parked vehicle with the windows up. Move the pieces around occasionally, and soon enough you have dehydrated tomatoes. Store your happy dried tomatoes in an airtight jar in your pantry or a cool, dark corner.
Or, place small tomato chunks on the same cookie sheet or platter, put the platter in the freezer a couple hours, then shuffle the frozen chunks into a bag for freezing. I instead simply rinse the tomatoes while swaying rhythmically, slice them into chunks while whistling, whiz them around in a blender a bit, and pour the puree into a freezer bag. The bag stores more easily if you lay it flat when you seal it.
And that’s not all! That’s right – infinity never stops.
I planted only one hot pepper plant this year because I have several jars of dehydrated peppers from years past. It was never my intent to have an endless supply, but I might never run out. I grew the peppers because gardeners like to try different things and then deal with what happens, and in this case, an infinite amount of spicy paprika is not necessarily a problem.
I did, however, plant 20 sweet pepper plants, all of which are healthy and dutifully producing peppers. The fruit are ripening, and it appears infinity will begin in a week or so. I use them at dinnertime regularly because they’re colorful and tasty, but the geometric progression of ripe peppers – not just two or four but a bowlful twice a week – is an opportunity to preserve them for later. I could dehydrate them the same way I dry tomatoes, but I don’t. I freeze them because it’s easy. They don’t require blanching, but you can steam them briefly if you want to. Just clear out the seeds, chop chop chop while humming “Across the Universe,” and slide them into the freezer bag. When it’s mid-December and you need some for the sauce on your famous Rigatoni Fortuna, you simply break off a portion from the bag. Easy.
I could go on and on about infinity forever, but I need to water the garden.