Truck plus peppers equals paprika
A line from the world’s second-best poem no one has read yet states, “Things converge in casual caravans/ and drift toward perhaps happenstance.” An example comes to mind. I have a 20-year old pickup which could easily be the ugliest vehicle in any parking lot. At this moment, it sits silent, unmown grass all around it, ready for its next assignment.
August is when peppers begin to ripen. I am growing four mild-hot to uh-oh-hot varieties this year, and some are ripening. The early ripened ones are sitting in a basket waiting for their next assignment.
Black Hungarians, which eventually turn crimson, are mildly hot. Golden cayennes are definitely spicy for my puny palette but still have only about 20 percent of the heat of a tabasco pepper. Nevertheless, they can punch up your paella. I don’t make paella. but I grow cayennes anyway.
Rezha Macedonian peppers are unique for their long shape, burgundy color and leathery texture with horizontal striations. They are hot enough that one of my friends won’t allow them in his house. I grow them anyway.
I added Brazilian starfish peppers this year because the Baker Creek catalog enticed me with how sweet they were, and, yes, they bring some heat, but I went for the unusual shape and sweetness. They are the tallest plants in the pepper patch, they did not flower till late, but they are prolific with the scalloped star-shaped peppers that look like little flying saucers… cuter than a bag of buttons. I sampled an immature one recently because I wanted to see if they were as sweet as advertised, but yikes-a-monkey! a quick nibble torched my puny palette like chewing on a campfire-flavored gummi bear. If there was sweetness in there, it never registered. But they’re cute.
Which brings us back to things converging in casual caravans. I like to dehydrate these scary hot peppers and make what I call spicy paprika which I sprinkle on a variety of dishes. I’ve dried many pepper varieties over the years, and at first I used a dehydrator with lots of trays which works, but it takes a while. I’ve also dried fruits and herbs on those trays, but, like I said, it takes a long time and lots of electricity.
My truck with the windows up holds heat well, so here is the casual convergence: I (carefully) cut up the hot peppers, place them on a baking sheet lined with wax paper and install a baking sheet or two on the dashboard of the pickup one fine morning. A few hours later, I stir the pieces just for fun and to facilitate dehydration.
After two days at most, I have dried chunks of hot peppers and it did not cost anybody anything, plus the truck smells like a taqueria for days. I then use a coffee grinder dedicated for this purpose to grind the pepper chunks to the desired flakiness. Voila – spicy paprika!
Peppers are easy, but a 20-year old pickup is a versatile and casual dehydrator. Slice your tomatoes, for example, and put them on trays. They will take longer and need more turning because they are juicy, but the process works, plus the truck will smell like when your mom made soup.
Same for apples, and the truck will smell like 1980s Sebastopol, California.
Oregano dries quickly, and the truck will smell like an apothecary.
Lambsquarters matures this time of year, so harvest the plant and dry the leaves and seed heads. The truck will smell like a 20-year old pickup, but you’ll have an excellent nutritious additive for winter lentil soups.
And this happenstance cost nobody nothing.