Joy of the mountain
Herbal aromas like incense at the edge of the lawn accented the foggy day. Ten teams were poised at their tables ready to present at the World Oregano Convention. In a corner of the half-acre lawn, ten tables were arranged in a horseshoe shape and watched over by an audience of fewer than 90 and probably more than ten. The goal: show the world the glories of oregano, dammit!
The proceedings began (like any good kindergarten class) with storytime. Chosen to recite was Marjorie Jasper from Fordyce, Arkansas. She told us, “A long time ago somebody named Aphrodite was in her garden and it wasn’t happy enough for her so she somehow, you know, made oregano, and for her it symbolized happiness. Apparently, everybody did what she said back then because its name in old-time Greek means joy of the mountain, and they used it to soothe skin irritations and if you got poisoned. Thank you.”
Marjorie was correct that Greece was first to recognize the benefits of oregano, but word spread everywhere about its many uses, and different cultures found new uses. Hippocrates recommended oregano ointment as an antiseptic and a tea for upset tummies, and in China it was used to reduce fevers.
Hippocrates could not attend the convention, however, but these presenters with great fervor demonstrated the universe of oregano.
Team One was the entire city council of El Gouna, an Egyptian town on the Red Sea coast, and they unveiled big bottles of oregano wine. They were excited to demonstrate its effectiveness.
Team Two was a pair of herbalists from Sebastopol, Calif., who revealed their freshly distilled oregano oil which they claimed was an effective antioxidant and it might get rid of athlete’s foot.
A couple folks in the audience nodded in approval.
Next was a fast-talking pointy-shoe car salesman type who claimed his jars of salve had thymol, a compound in oregano oil, which, for $20, could be slathered on a sore and pain would vamoose pronto… but wait– there’s more!– it would also most assuredly unclog your snotty nose if you sniffed it.
Then there was the team of four young Duke University gardeners in overalls and flannel shirts who presented charts and diagrams with circles and arrows that clearly demonstrated how to identify the main varieties of oregano– Greek (Common), Mexican, Italian and Syrian (Turkish) and their relative thymol content plus climate tolerances. They told us Greek or Italian varieties have the best chance of making it through a hard winter.
Dr. Melinda White of the Institute for Learning New Things followed by explaining research shows small doses of oregano oil after a meal helps reduce accumulation of LDL cholesterol. She then presented a case full of small colorful bottles with eye droppers. On each bottle was a label declaring “Oregano to the Rescue.” She also had jars of capsules.
A wave of nods and complimentary chatter about Dr. White’s Rescue swept through the crowd, but it should be noted that the Team One table was tittering and abuzz as their demonstration was gaining speed.
Nevertheless, Team Six – three doctors from Mumbai – proudly persevered. They wanted the world to know their cream made with oregano oil applied to small cuts and abrasions was effective at preventing infections. This had been proven in lab studies on mice. The short guy in the third row with the confused look muttered, “But I don’t have any mice,” and the doctors pantomimed applying their salve on a sore left hand. “Just rub it,” they replied.
There were presentations still to be made on oregano products which relieve bloating and help control weight, but happy Team One had slipped some El Gouna oregano-infused Grenache to the second and third tables with the next two tables waiting for a delivery. Convention over.
All for oregano, and oregano for all.