Public health officials warned there could be a surge in Covid-19 cases if people got together for traditional Thanksgiving celebrations with friends and family outside of their household. Many people ignored that, and now the county, state and country continue to break records for deaths and hospitalizations.
“It’s tap danced on everyone’s last nerve to get through this pandemic,” Vicar David Angus of St. James’ Episcopal Church, said. “Everyone is missing friends and family. Everyone is grieving what has been lost… breakfast with friends, hugs, in-person services, the Silver Tea, and so much more. All of us are struggling with anxiety and depression aggravated by the lack of socialization. Staying apart during the holidays is just torture and we want to do our normal routines. The start of vaccines gives many of us hope, but right now, we have to stay separated and take precautions.”
For months into the pandemic that started in March, Carroll County was seeing few cases of Covid-19. But Angus said their members’ concern has increased as some have ended up with adult children in other cities across the South catching the virus, and recently there have been concerns about a creep of infection in Holiday Island and around Beaver Lake.
“We have shifted most services to Facebook Live and since midsummer, we have hosted a service in our garden with separation and masks,” Angus said. “As an extra layer of protection, we did install UV lights in our HVAC system.”
Decisions about family visits can be difficult. What if one adult is okay visiting and another sibling thinks it is too much risk? Angus said sparks in the family are sure to ignite.
“Each of us has a different degree of comfort taking risks and mitigating risks,” Angus said. “It can be a challenge to find common ground on what is safe enough to try. My family has stayed apart during the pandemic. First, I didn’t want to quarantine for 14 days if I headed to Philadelphia. My parents are young of heart, but also in their eighties, so we remain cautious about flying. Video chats help us bridge the distance.”
The isolation has strained some relationships where people are spending far more time with household members than in the past, and some isolated single people are finding it tough to maintain a sense of well-being.
Angus said it is hard to say who has the most challenges.
“It is hard to paint with a broad brush,” Angus said. “Single people vary, as do all people, using various coping skills in a pandemic. What helps people of all stripes to be resilient? Learning something new, adapting to new information, trying new things, eating healthy, asking for help, being willing to be a friend on the phone, Zoom or on a walk outdoors with masks and seeking help from experts can all help us build resilience.”
Asked to share advice about making it through the pandemic, Angus said it may seem irrelevant if you are not fond of religion or spirituality, but his rock in difficult times is God.
“My quest is Jesus’s summary of the law: Love God and Neighbor,” Angus said. “Prayer allows me to tap a deep well of community, love, comfort, peace, calm, and joy. Prayer leads away from fear, even the fear of death. I encourage those struggling this season to try to sit quietly in the morning and evening doing nothing. Relax into your chair. Just ask God to be with you. Your Creator knows you and accepts you. I don’t wish to denigrate anyone’s experience of the Divine if not Christian, but I also champion Jesus’s path as one that leads to an abundant life with much joy. We celebrate this season by greening our houses, lighting candles, and giving gifts. It reminds me that hope is near.”
Rev. Blake Lasater, pastor of the United Methodist Church in Eureka Springs, agrees the holidays are going to be a very difficult time because many are going to be separated from their families, and that takes a huge toll on a person’s spirit and well- being.
“Getting through this requires discipline,” Lasater said. “It’s easy to ruminate on the negative things, but have we tried ruminating on positive ones? Pull out a scrapbook or photo album and remember joyous times. Now is a good time to rediscover the art of letter writing. Before this pandemic we took for granted our interactions with others. Maybe now is the time to genuinely reconnect through the intimacy of a letter or card.”
Lasater said member of the United Methodist Church are being very cautious and he thinks they don’t do this out of fear, but out of a genuine concern for the well-being of loved ones and strangers. Most of his members have commented they don’t want to be the reason someone else gets sick.
He worries most over the widows and widowers this year who are going through the grief journey even more alone than in the past.
“Our church has used both Zoom and socially distanced support groups to try to bridge that gap,” Lasater said. “So, the biggest way we can weather the loneliness is to stop thinking about our loneliness and focus on the isolation of others – call or write, Zoom or Facetime with someone else who is lonely. When we focus on the needs of others, our own problems start to look small and insignificant.”
“Facetime or Zoom are fun ways to reach out to family and friends,” Lasater said. “I think it is vitally important that we check up on one another. Call your neighbor who might not have the ability to communicate over the internet.”
The Methodist Church has also mounted a herculean effort to provide meals to people who sick, quarantined, or who have lost jobs or wages. Through the Answering the Call program, volunteers have driven more than 5,000 miles and delivered more than 15,000 meals.
“That represent countless hours of volunteer time,” Lasater said. “I think this project has made people look past what divides us to focus on that which unites us.”