Last week The New York Times had interviews with 12 men who voted Republican in November and asked them why. The men were white, Black, multiracial, in construction, the ministry, teaching, law and business. Some were Democrats, one was retired and one unemployed.
They answered that Donald Trump is a “man’s man.” They whined about women and America’s youth not understanding the historic stature of men. They complained that when they open a door for a woman, she says she can do it herself. These men said they felt devalued, demoted and no longer in possession of their male birthright, dominance.
That answer brought two men to my mind. One tootled into our office a month or so ago to pay his advertising bill. His wife had died earlier in 2024 and he brought up how much he missed her. His eyes clouded up. I asked if he dreams about her and he said no, he doesn’t dream, he takes Benadryl.
He handed me a check and said, “By the way, I have a girlfriend. I’m sleeping with her.”
I covered both ears and said, “La-la-la-la-la-la.” Really didn’t want to hear this.
He plucked his phone from his old, cared-for canvas jacket, took two or three swipes, found a picture and asked, “Isn’t she beautiful?”
I had to look, right?
She was beautiful. Three shades of fur and eyes filled with obvious indifference. She stared at the camera the way cats stare out a mouse hole right before – well, you know.
The man said the cat had apparently been hanging out at Chelsea’s, that Irish blue collar poets’ bar downtown, but she went for a walk-about down Spring Street one warm afternoon. When she strolled through the open door of their shop, the cat jumped right into the man’s wife’s lap. They took the cat home, where she insisted on sitting in the same lap. They started taking her to work with them every day where always nailed down her spot on the wife’s lap.
“I sleep with her now,” the man said. “She gets on the pillow next to me. It makes me feel closer to my wife. But here’s the thing, I’m allergic to cats. That’s why I take Benadryl.”
The other man, I interviewed last February in Berryville. He said he wanted to raise awareness of the power and plight of wild mustang horses in the American West by walking three mustangs across the country, from Utah to the Jersey shore and back. No trailer, just step-after-step for 6,000 miles.
Bella, Eddy, and Denver, three feral mustangs, each carried 180 lbs. all day, every day. Jake switched out which horse to ride while the other two carried an equal weight in supplies.
Bella, the oldest at 17, started feeling puny and losing weight, so Jake had her trailered from eastern Arkansas back home to Utah and continued on with Eddy and Denver.
Jake taught his horses to trust him and each other. He was given Bella when he was 16, and now he’s in his mid-twenties. After Jake trained Bella, she trained the male mustangs about backpacking, camping, traffic and survival. When she left to go home and get well, Jake, Eddy and Denver were on their own.
They went through snowstorms, airless summer heat and big city highway congestion, 20 miles a day, four-to-six days a week for 14 months and across 25 states. When they were denied permission by the New Jersey Bridge Commission to cross a Delaware River pedestrian bridge, they swam. Jake used satellite imagery to find the easiest place to cross. The current was strong and the horses hesitant, but they followed Jake into the river until their hooves couldn’t touch bottom, then they swam.
About six weeks ago, a friend of Jake’s loaded Bella into his trailer and took her to the Wyoming-Utah state line to meet up with Jake, Eddy and Denver for the final 115 miles. All four got home a few days before Christmas.
So. One man missed his wife so much he’s willing to endure sneezing and not dreaming so he can feel closer to her by sleeping with her cat. Another man and three horses raised awareness of the dire predicament of a breed of horses being nudged out by development and bureaucracy. He raised adoptions and donations.
These two are men’s men. All I could think was if we’re going to deprecate instead of appreciate other humans, why are we even here? To vote? Maybe we should ask animals how to do that.