The most divisive topic I remember from childhood was among neighborhood fathers. It led to words, and it was clear it would never be settled.
“Ford man or Chevy man?”
The only non-conforming car in our neighborhood belonged to Mr. Hudson who owned and washed a massive Hudson Hornet every Saturday. He scrubbed the whitewalls with Tide and a Fuller brush, then drove his ship of iron to church on Sunday. He was old, lived alone, and sat on the Denver Yellow Pages so he could see over the steering wheel.
Chevy dads didn’t want to jump Ford batteries. Chevy Delco radios were better than Ford Philcos. Ford had a panoramic curved windshield and offered seat belts as an option. Chevy peddled a small block V-8, and Ford came out with the $400 million Edsel that flopped like a 4-lb. bass. Both companies bought full page color ads in The Saturday Evening Post. Tit for tat, but allegiance never changed, and disagreements were never settled even though cars were only about one thing – power under the hood.
Divisive topics don’t have to be. We’ve spent generations not teaching children about their own bodies and minds. Instead, we concentrate on making sure they don’t look disheveled. But we hesitate to talk about the most important part of people, the part that causes us such anxiety. Who we are.
We can’t change our chromosomes, but we can change how we identify ourselves. When your child reaches an early adult age, that child most likely knows how to pursue personal happiness. Wouldn’t that be the point of raising a child? Wouldn’t that make anyone a proud parent?
When we stifle or prevent children from understanding the basic biology and history of how humans work, we make them angry, not adjusted. They are taught to be afraid of being themselves.
We are taught not to judge, yet we, society, judge people on what they believe instead of how they behave.
Kind of like feuding car guys.
Religions are both intolerant and forgiving. Governments, same. They both expect a lot from us and spend time and money on making sure our attitude and allergic reactions to their enemies are well fed.
What to do?
Young adults today are leading the effort toward change and acceptance. Half of 18 to 29-year-old Americans are good with a person changing their birth “assignment,” and support others living as they see fit. Young people accept that we cannot control people any more than we can control the wind.
A person’s sex is determined from the chromosome that the male contributes. Males have X and Y chromosomes. If a male fertilizes an egg with an X, the zygote is female. If he contributes a Y, the zygote is male. Females only have double X chromosomes to pass on. So, no one can really determine who a child will be, either way. All those first two chromosomes affect is our packaging. Beyond that, we’re splitting Adams – billions of choices, no two alike. And what’s wrong with that? Everybody’s normal and nobody’s average.
Last Wednesday I had a sterling conversation with a man I’ve known for years but see only occasionally – at Brews, the post office, art shows, his son’s memorial service.
We talked about how we both have friends we don’t agree with on any level. Right wing Republicans who are actually as radical as Angela Davis; friends tiptoeing into old age but still too shy to upset their dead parents by being who they really are; and people wanting another crack at something, anything.
We talked about these people, and we knew that no amount of yammering or quoting or proving anything would change their ways. We also knew that these people could be counted on to help us if we ever found ourselves in a situation we couldn’t handle. They are people worth effort, no matter what’s under their hood. Stand-up people.
And that’s why we at ESI wish all of you, every single one of you, a Happy Fifth Day of the Fourth Week of the Eleventh Month of the Two-thousandth and Twenty Second year.
Even Ford drivers.