Are there specific guidelines for negotiating a healthy Friends-with-Benefits relationship? (Part 2)
Yes, there are. Most important, know yourself. Well. A friends-with-benefits relationship doesn’t work for everyone. If you’re not satisfied with your life as it is or you’re needing to fill some gaping emotional void, this is absolutely not the relationship for you.
A friends-with-benefits relationship requires emotional stability, autonomy, authenticity and sexual maturity. A healthy FWB relationship adds spice to life. It’s a sweet and saucy bonus. A security blanket it is not.
Benevolence and love define the best friendships, friends-with-benefits included. FWB relationships however are carnal at the core. Trust is an absolute, but lust and sexual indulgence are the true hallmarks. The sheer purpose is erotic exploration and physical pleasure. It’s a time-limited affair that when well-orchestrated, comes to a happy ending.
There are some definite rules of engagement. Honesty is a must to ensure both parties are consistently on the same page. If either person begins wanting a more romantic attachment, develops specific expectations or conflicted feelings, it’s time to end the relationship. ‘Tis the price of pleasure, plain and simple.
Speak your mind, especially about sex. Great sex is hard to find and nothing is more intoxicating than sexual chemistry. Seize the sizzle and run with it. Indulge your erotic fantasies and play new games – chocolate body topping, ropes, cuffs and toys included. Let your alter-ego out of the closet and get downright dirty. Why not?
While you may be “just friends,” don’t be lazy. Keep the sexy in high gear. Maintaining optimum fitness and grooming never hurts, I promise.
Don’t place expectations on one another’s time when you’re apart. You each have your own lives to live and technically you’re both still “on the market” so keep your options open.
When you call or text, don’t expect an immediate response. While your ego fancies the idea of someone just lying in wait to revel in your sexual mastery, rein it in. Other than unavoidable fleeting milliseconds, jealousy has no part in a friends-with-benefits relationship.
Safe sex is a no-brainer. Elaborate gifts are out of bounds. Sleepovers are debatable and many say cuddling is an absolute No-Go. Seriously? I’m just too human for that. You’re friends, remember? Breakfast in bed, on the other hand, beckons a very slippery slope.