I’m currently single but in past relationships I never felt temped to stray. I’m angry that affairs seem to be the norm today. Monogamy’s not that difficult. What’s wrong with people?
Warning: This response does not contain its usual Southern charm, but perfect honesty it does. I’m guessing you’re 35 years at most. Living a life void of temptation is the first clue. You’re either young or deceiving yourself. Good try. Counting the sins of others, even better. No need to ac-count for your own.
Why can’t one person be 100 percent enthralled with their partner 100 percent of the time? Simple question. As judge and jury, can you accept the simple answer? Humanness.
Contrary to popular belief, those who’ve engaged in extra-marital affairs typically report that they were not unhappily married nor were they dissatisfied emotionally or sexually. So what happened?
At the foundation of a healthy relationship is safety. That’s good and well, but to what extent do we sacrifice passion for stability? Once safely nestled into fidelity, seduction falls by the wayside. It’s too much work really. As two become one all separateness is lost, as is all mystery and the inherent excitement.
Erotic energy ignites the “aliveness” we all crave. If our need for relationship security squelches our erotic vitality, are we setting ourselves up to stray for the crave?
Consider your latest sexual exchange with your partner. Were you aching to touch and yearning to be touched? Were you trembling in the thrill of your seduction and burning in the delight of being desired? In awe of the power felt with each caress, were you whimpering and begging for more?
Or, less than eager to engage, did you mutter an obligatory “oooh” and “aaah” while distractedly wondering where to find that rare ingredient needed for your gluten-free, vegan-friendly recipe for Friday night’s dinner party?
Distraction is no crime but let’s be real, if the pulsing sexual object of your forbidden desire was writhing in ecstasy with you would your mind have meandered at all?
Making a case against monogamy is not my intention. Making a case for empathy is. By demonizing those who falter at monogamy, perhaps we’re giving sex more power and meaning than it’s rightly due.
“Judge not lest you be judged… The biggest mistakes are the humanest kind.” Michael Franti