I thought our sex life was great until my husband said he’s bored with it. It crushed me. He said I barely ever make a sound so he has no idea what I like or want. This makes him feel really disconnected. He knows I climax so what else does he need?
Leslie Meeker – The language of love is the missing piece. He’s needing you to be more active and verbal during lovemaking. Even when highly sexually responsive, women often remain expressively passive.
Men have long carried the burden of “Sexpert,” being expected to initiate, create and direct masterfully mind-blowing sexual phenomena throughout the relationship. Not fair. No man knows what sex feels like for a woman and vice-versa. Romance must be reciprocal with both partners fully engaged in their intimacy dialogue.
We all crave approval, men included. You can never go wrong with compliments. Being sexually expressive is new to you. Start simple. Practice complimenting your husband during your daily routine. Use your body language. A soft touch, a playful smile or a suggestive glance will create connection. Plant a seed of desire with a saucy mid-day message.
Enthusiasm is the key to great sex. While you may feel enthusiastic you’re definitely not communicating it. Your husband can’t read your mind. Verbal communication during sex is your biggest challenge. Again start simple. Compliments can create a relaxed entrance to your sexual encounter: “I love your body,” or “you smell delicious.” When he does something that arouses you be certain he knows. It’s not that difficult, “mmmm,” “yes” or “more.” Your arousal increases his arousal so it’s essential that it’s communicated.
Once you’ve got this down, take it up a notch. Say his name while making love, praise his nether regions, spell out exactly what you’d like to do with said regions. Moan loudly. Give him a play by play, describing what he’s doing and how it feels. Again, creating the connection he needs.
“Talking dirty” significantly increases arousal. Seductive or playful, it adds rocket fuel to the fire. “Give me all of you,” “Beg for it, baby.” You get the idea.
Once you’ve reached that point of no return, give it a voice and let the world know. You only live once. Why not live loud?