My husband wants to incorporate more role-playing into our sex life. I’m not opposed but it’s difficult for me. I just feel self-conscious and awkward. How can I get over my discomfort and enjoy it?
Leslie Meeker – Incorporating fantasy in its various forms is key to keeping that fire burning in long-term relationships. While humans are hard-wired to seek novelty most couples inadvertently fall into a sexual routine that rarely varies. If you dare, bedroom make-believe can definitely add flare.
Taking on a new identity in the bedroom can feel daunting at best. Exploring fantasies together requires the willingness to be vulnerable and must be based upon a strong foundation of trust. Beyond that, with an open mind, a playful spirit, a bit of imagination and a solid sense of humor, you’re well on your way.
Fantasy play is just that – play. It’s not work. There is no perfect scenario and things are not likely to go exactly as planned. There is great freedom in assuming an alternate persona. Let this liberate you. Release all expectations and role with it.
Role-playing scenarios are diverse and infinite. Two primary themes prevail. The steamy sexual encounter with a stranger, your partner of course can be played many ways. There’s the repairman and housewife, escort and client or the ever-so-popular bar scene where you meet for the first time, flirt wildly and seduce recklessly all the way to the bedroom bacchanal that wakes the neighbors.
The other prevailing theme is based upon a power differential: the executive and secretary, professor and pupil, doctor and patient, cop and criminal, etc. If you’re just testing the role-playing waters, assuming any of these personas may feel overwhelmingly awkward and the themes too corny or contrived.
Simple solution. Scale it back a notch. Incorporate just the power differential. Most couples have settled into comfortable roles when it comes to bedroom dynamics. If your partner is typically the initiator while you’re more passive, simply switch roles. Take charge, request compliance, make specific demands and call every shot while slowly seducing your partner. This simple change in routine can ignite an erotic energy, provoking an eruption of daringly more illicit fantasied frolics. Fantasy is an erotic essential. Not only does it tantalize the mind, it increases arousal and intensifies climax.
Let the games begin!