I’m 34 and single. None of my long-term relationships has led to marriage. I’m still meeting and dating women but I’d really hoped to have started a family by now. I’m even considering mail-order bride services. Are they all scams? Am I just desperate? Do those marriages ever work?
The mail-order bride business is alive and well. Like many cultural phenomena it has evolved over time, for better and for worse. With the Internet providing worldwide connection, the spousal pool from which to choose is nearly infinite. Equally infinite is the cesspool of lurking scammers and downright psychopaths.
The term “mail-order bride” was born on U.S. soil and initiated as an honest and even necessary endeavor in the 19th century. While the Wild West held much allure, pioneering gents faced slim pickin’s in the love and marriage department. The pen-pal or rather pen-paramour process ensued, as lonely frontiersmen placed ads in newspapers seeking potential wives from back East.
Foreign women from impoverished countries scheming to get their hands on a western man’s wealth was a much later development, as was the occurrence of chauvinistic, controlling and even murderous men using these means to hunt their prey – resource and language-limited, naïve, submissive foreign women.
Mail-order bride relationships have resulted in stable marriages. Research even suggests that these marriages are significantly less likely to end in divorce. Why, however is the question. The answer lies somewhere between sane and sinister.
Whether it’s the exotic, sensual nature of Latin ladies or the well-toned bodies and unabashed nature of Ukrainian women that trip your trigger, who’s to judge? Looking for love in foreign places does not make you desperate.
Get a handle on what you contributed to previous failed relationships so history won’t repeat itself. Make sure the head that holds your brain is the one running the show. Do your homework and be astute about the telltale signs of romance scams.
Above all, provide an honest representation of yourself. If your belly obscures the visibility of your beltline, your credit score is below sea level, your only friend is your mother with whom you still live, finding a marriage-worthy woman is not your biggest problem.
While your mail-order bride may have high hopes of attaining the American dream, if you don’t consider yourself a catch, she won’t either.