A long-time friend invited me and my wife to a sex party. I was surprised to say the least. We’re interested but have no idea what to expect. Is it even reasonable to go and if so, what do we need to know?
Assuming you’re equally interested in attending and neither of you feels pressured to do so then it’s absolutely reasonable. While at a snail’s pace, traditional perspectives on sex, marriage and monogamy have evolved. Liberating trends are emerging, providing many couples the opportunity to consider consensual non-monogamy.
Sex parties provide one option for diverse sexual exploration. Recent research even indicates that consensual non-monogamy increases marital happiness while decreasing the risk of infidelity, separation and divorce.
Sexual adventuring is not all fun and games though. OK, I lied. While fun, successful adventuring requires the utmost transparency and trust between partners. Responsibility, self-awareness and empathy are imperative.
So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, or actually the not so gritty. There’s no getting your freak on with your funk on. Cleanliness aside, safe sex is rule number one. Condoms on the male always a must and changing said item between partners also a must. Many parties require the use of dental dams and sanitary gloves as well.
What to bring? Said protective items, your preferred lubricant, favorite adult novelty, your very best sexy and perhaps a bottle of wine or light hors d’oeuvre. Balls typically go over well at these events, meat, cheese or otherwise.
Voyeurism and exhibitionism are a given but there’s a definitive line between perv and passive participant. If the curtain’s closed don’t open it. If it’s open, enjoy the show. Enjoying yourself while watching is typically acceptable but if joining the scene is your interest, don’t just dive in. Use your words. Always ask before you touch. Manners are a must.
Typically more men attend play parties than women. While single women are revered, single men are always suspect. So gents, be polite and control your salivating and sexual expletives.
Due to this disparity in numbers you’re bound to find yourself faced member to member with another male member. If that’s not your interest, don’t stress. Simply strike up a conversation and get to know your fellow sexual progressive. Whether it’s coitus or conversation, a party is always party.